Brisingamen End Of Year Note, 2022 (March)
Who would want to stomp through a muddy, murky, swamp? That’s right! Justine and I! Of course, the kids too – yes the kids. The five of us spent the day in Delaware going to the Brandywine Zoo, walking around a small riverwalk, going to the DuPont Environmental Education Center on Christina River, (this is the place where the family saw, and I recorded, a dragonfly laying her eggs) and walking through a swampy boardwalk, and then finishing the day with going to a Kids Sale. Tawbs spotted a $6 Cinderella dress she had to have. I bought it for her – but it hasn’t inspired her to clean up any of “her portion” of the house like I hoped it would.
The first weekend in March is the start of the Iditarod and I happily commandeered the TV to watch the start and restart of the race. We watched the end too, but that happened about a week after the start. Lucas bought me my Iditarod Insider Subscription again and I kept track of a couple of mushers and areas along the trail. We did go to the Philadelphia Zoo on that Sunday, but it was a little cold and rainy or a bit overcastish. It was a great zoo; my Milwaukee County Zoo membership got us half off entry. We will have to go back this coming year in the summer. We finished the zoo with plenty of time to get back home to see the Iditarod.
Since October of 2021, Catawba-Lynn and I had a contract with Varsity Tutors, an online educational/classroom company. She had access to most classes for free. One of the classes she was taking were voice lessons, for fun. During one of her classes, on camera, in the midst of singing “Let It Go” one of her teeth flew out of her mouth and the amount of blood the followed surprised everyone. She hurried off to the bathroom and I wrapped up her tooth for the Tooth Fairy.
Quick side note here – the sweetest damn thing happened sometime in Spring of 2022. Catawba had completed painting a craft ceramic unicorn. And she loved this thing – got it as a gift and loved it – but it fell and broke the horn. She was devastated. She went and got a piece of legal paper out of the stack Scott gave us (she loves the legal paper) and wrote a note to the Tooth Fairy, explaining what happened. She wrote that she thought the Tooth Fairy might be able to help, as narwhale “horns” are actually teeth – so maybe unicorn horns are teeth like material as well. Tawbs offered up three pieces of candy on her note with her ceramic unicorn. It sat for several days untouched, but then disappeared for almost two weeks, only to return with a fixed horn. Pretty magical, huh?
Like a weirdo, I spent one whole day monitoring the sun in our backyard. Every 30 minutes or so I would walk in our backyard, dogs and child running around like monsters, while I stood in the middle of our backyard, Legend Planner and pen in hand, staring up at the sun. I would jot a note, yell at the dogs and child and walk back in the house. Every half hour. I was trying to figure out what could live in our backyard and sun was one of the variables. Water and pests were the other two big variables.
I got word from Lucas that his co-worker, Carl, said he liked Red Delicious apples, or they were the golden standard, or he mentioned Red Delicious apples in a positive light. I hate Red Delicious apples and if the government stopped buying them for school lunches – and inattentive parents, thinking they were doing good by their children by buying these horribly mealy, waxed leather skinned, ugly bottomed, apples – if those two categories of people stopped buying Red Delicious apples – would they be gone? I think they would – because no adult buys these things for themselves – and if you do, it’s because you’re a masochist or you have never tried any other apple, because someone, inappropriately, called them the Red Delicious apple “the golden standard of apples” and they were either horribly wrong – or – interestingly enough – about 166 years old, when Red Delicious apples accidently looked beautiful and tasted great. But, like us Americans do – the Red Delicious apple was carefully cultivated for beauty over function. It was decided that apples should only be red – red red – no streaks or pigmentation, just red. Through the cultivation processes, any other color over red was bred out. But the any other color than red gene that was being bred out is what held the flavor gene as well. (If you find this interesting – look it up – I love this stuff. What I don’t love is the government bailout crap and idiot humans basing – literally – their whole crop on one item. Then we end up with billions of useless apple trees that live for years that are almost worthless because the product is repulsive. Variety people – literally branch out your product). So Catawba-Lynn and I shopped at Produce Junction, Aldi, and Lidl, purchasing a package of each flavor of apple sold – not including Red Delicious apples, because they are nasty. We brought them home, took the three best looking apples of each type, bagged them by name, and sent them to work with Lucas so they could have an apple tasting event at work. What varieties of apples did Tawbs and I find? Gala, Golden Delicious, Granny Smith, McIntosh, Fuji, Jazz, Stayman Winesap, Cameo, Ever Crisp, Honeycrisp, Cosmic Crisp, Snap Dragon, Pink Lady, and Pinata. Luke’s favorite was McIntosh, followed by the Stayman Winesap. Scott’s were Fuji then Snap Dragon. Carl liked Granny Smith, Cosmic Crisp, then Snap Dragon. These guys made a tier list and took notes on each apple – awesome! That was cool.
That weekend, as a family, we went to the LegoLand Discovery Center. It felt overdue! We had a season pass but didn’t go much in the Winter due to the Covid spike. I just didn’t see the appeal of sticking a bunch of kids together in a building to play with communal Legos, where half of the Legos went in a kids’ mouth and the other half of them went up a kids’ nose. But we went in March! Afterwards we watched Connor (Luke’s brother) play in a Pub G tournament. His team placed 5th. Lucas and I were excited to watch, but Catawba-Lynn may have enjoyed watching Uncle Connor play the most. She was glued to the TV and was really being quite the cheerleader.
Ridley Creek State Park Home School Group started up mid-March. Led by Ranger Gary, Catawba-Lynn was educated in topics ranging from frogs to fossils to fires, from tracks & scat, to edible and poisonous plants, to water stream health, to bats and owls and turtles. She only missed three classes. We may have been the family with the highest attendance this past year. 15 free, hands-on, environmental classes. Awesome! And Sessrumnir attended most of them with us. We really enjoyed it because not only was it a topic that both of us enjoyed, but it helped enforce other skills that Tawbs needs, (because she is not in a brick-and-mortar school) such as taking turns, listening to the instructor, having to be quiet for an extended period of time, raising her hand – those types of things.
The Avian Flu was a nationwide issue. It started (In America) on the East Coast and I found out about it early on due to all of our zoo activities and 4H Cloverbuds. Our zoos put birds inside or covered the bird enclosures. The Cloverbuds were not allowed to go in by the chickens (honestly – fowl) as contamination was high and deadly. The poor birds that died from it – it was bad. Because Catawba is a part of 4H, I had the opportunity to sit in on a Zoom call to listen to State, agricultural, and educational pros explain what they knew about the flu. Obviously I took advantage of joining the call. The 4H Cloverbuds were disappointed that they couldn’t see the chickens, however the group leaders made a chicken trivia game and planned an egg hunt in an open field. It was wonderful. Tawbs got a handful of eggs and was estatic about the event.
Last year, a couple and their daughters came over for games and casually asked if I had hiked John Heinz yet. John Heinz National Wildlife Refuge – that green space that Luke and I looked at on Google that we hoped would be like Pike Lake – that place we decided to live close to so I could hike at it, and relieve stress, and be happy. John Heinz, the couple asked me if I hiked it and like an asshole, I commandeered the conversation and complained about how horrible it was because of the sheer amount of trash that was littered about. I have since apologized for that outburst – but only after Justine, with her boys, invited Catawba-Lynn and I out for a hike on the other side of John Heinz. It was a great hike. A bit over four miles, I think. We brought Bulma along – as Sessrumnir still wasn’t fully vaccinated. This was actually the last “long walk” – outside of camping – that Bulma had. Her hips and unwillingness to work with other dogs make her a prime candidate for staying at home. But the hike was great – no garbage, in the woods, by water (yes, by the freeway, but it is what it is) up an observation tower, across a bridge, as a lookout – it was a great hike. I even bamboozled Lucas into doing this hike later on in the year. He said he was good with doing it once. Once is enough. But the kids did good on the hike.
Simply hording the TV and forcing family to watch dog shows isn’t enough! No, I found an AKC show, live, 2.5 hours away – the Celtic Classic in West York, PA – so off we went, dogless, camping chairs in hand and a cooler of food slung over a shoulder – as if we were tailgating for NASCAR, not going to a dog show! We got our seats set up and were ready for the action. I turned to look at Lucas and stopper! Instantaneously the biggest, dumbest, bright eyed, smile came across my face! Now, I can’t see myself but I knew I looked like a maniac – but I couldn’t help it! Sitting behind Lucas was a Neapolitan Mastiff!! One of my favorite breeds of dogs! (Looks. I love the way they look. They look like me!) Lucas looked at the dog, then looked at me, and then back at the dog. (Now mind you, I have only ever seen one Neapolitan Mastiff, at Crozer library. It wasn’t show quality, but I knew what it was, which impressed the gentleman who owned it). Lucas leaned over and said to me “Why don’t we own one of these?” And I responded “Because it was on the Please No list.” The Please No list was carefully crafted by Lucas and I to vaguely respect each other’s dog owning wishes. I knew that I could have any dog I wanted, but there were a couple of things Lucas would rather not have right this moment. Baying. Hound and Beagle baying was high of this list. Also, 150 pounds of wrinkled skin and constant drool – the Neapolitan Mastiff (not me! I’m 155 pounds of wrinkles and drool!) – trapping Lucas next to a drooling Neapolitan Mastiff – oh that makes my heart sing! But Lucas does not feel that way. That poor man would be done with me. Any way – I got to derp out over a Neo, luckily, not on camera.
I met up with a gentleman from the Delaware County Kennel Club. I found the group didn’t have a meeting space or building or classes, I was honestly not sure how they were able to put on the show! But I met someone in my county within the hobby, so that was good. Catawba-Lynn wore her Cinderella to the show and got many compliments. Lucas eventually, inevitably, got hungry and refused the food I brought, but luckily for him, he found a cheese burger and fries at the concession stand. He shared his fries with Tawbs and we continued watching the show. The last group before best in show was being judged. Catawba told me she needed to go to the bathroom, she wasn’t feeling good. I figured it was the fries. Tawbs doesn’t get rich food often, so I figured her stomach wasn’t agreeing with it. As I got her to the bathroom, she puked. I cleaned her up, still thinking it was the fries. We were able to go back to our seats and finish watching the show. As we were packing up, poor Tawbs puked again. That was when I knew we were going to have a long 2.5 hour drive home. Luckily, even though it was warm in March here – we were walking building to building with no coat – I still dressed Tawbs in light layers. But. We dirtied and went through the layers quickly. And I ran out of reusable bags for her to puke into (it’s all I had!) And luckily I always pack an extra bag of clothes for Tawbs! And we went through those clothes too. And I wore layers! So one by one I took off my shirts and we put them on Tawbs as dresses. We were down to me wearing my destroyed tank top that you can see my bra in because the top is so stretched out and old (I only wear in for layers for warmth) and Catawba-Lynn wearing my flannel, buttoned up and tucked around her, as that was all we had left. But we were home. Poor, poor Tawbs puked twice at the show, five times in the car – so honestly every half hour, and then roughly 15 times overnight. It was every 15 minutes for a while. We were supposed to do our Ostara Hunt the next morning, but we ended up saving it for several days later, until she was feeling better. Poor girl.
One of my boasts was to attempt to be a Brandywine Zoo docent. Look, I miss working and I want to use my brain and my degree, but life is complicated and doesn’t always go as planned. Working within my bounds, I found that the Brandywine Zoo docent program has extensive training and one of the perks of the position is the ability to take classes [online] through the San Diego Zoo. The docent would make a commitment to be at the zoo on a regular basis. The program was paused in 2020. I waited. 2021 the program was still paused and then the zoo needed to hire the person in charge of the program. And I waited. 2022. Program person was hired, but she had too many new duties, so the program was paused through 2022. But I’m on the list to be contacted in 2023 for the docent program! (And in October I saw that they were hiring that position again, so I don’t see new docents coming to the Brandywine Zoo in 2023 either). Sucks, because I was really excited about the program. But now I feel it’s been too long waiting and it probably won’t happen now.
Wisconsin – I know I keep talking about March weather – consistent 60 degrees – no snow (all year) – I know. You have snow – we have fucking ants. Every fucking where. Ants. I almost lost my mind this year. Fuck the pests. Mice and ants and roaches and gnats and ticks – so many ticks, and termites. Give me the cold and snow. Kill off these damned pests! Thousands of ants invaded my home and were living in our internet router! Thousands! I did reach my breaking point several times this year. I lost my ability to function with this house several times. Lucas killed off the ants I found in the router. It didn’t seem to make a difference in the rest of our house, and I was terrified they were living in the walls! Did our house just become a colony? This can’t be normal! Do other people have problems? What do they do? I’m not a dirty person! We don’t have food out! We don’t even keep food in the cabinets; it’s all in the fridge! This isn’t normal in Wisconsin. And as I spiraled and Lucas called Orkin and the gentleman assured us that the ants were not living in the house and what we were seeing was normal, not bad – not horrible, and Orkin had to come out several times to get the ants out of the house, and as I lost my damn mind – my neighbor said, “It’s normal, everyone has ants.” “What?!” I responded, almost falling over. “Yeah, everyone has ants, you just put more prevention down when you see one.” Fuck this 60 degree weather. I want 2019 temperatures – when it was -27 in Wisconsin and life carried on as normal. “You know – it wouldn’t be so bad without the wind.” Over these ants? I’ll take it! -27 in Wisconsin equals crisp solitude. I was good with it. 65 degrees in my house? I have 4+ layers on and I still may freeze to death. Yay, stress! Lucas’s heart exploded and my body won’t regulate temperature.
The Elmwood Park Zoo is another zoo close by. I don’t have reciprocity, but the library system has at least one Elmwood Park Zoo pass. The family went and we greatly enjoyed it. I am contemplating getting a membership though. I feel the utmost of guilt going out and leaving Sessrumnir at home. Jude wants to stay home and Bulma is a maniac – her own fault for needing to be home – but Sessrumnir should be out in society! The Elmwood Park Zoo has dog days, maybe every Wednesday? What I understand is, you pay extra, like a kid entrance, for your dog to join you at the zoo (foregoing the buildings). Fantastic! If I purchase a membership, can I add Sessrumnir to the membership (for an extra fee) or do I have to pay each time I bring him. That is my big question. Because we would be going to the Elmwood Park Zoo almost weekly if Sessrumnir could go. He went to roughly 10 out of the 15 Ridley Creek Home School events. He missed the first two because he wasn’t fully vaccinated, missed another one because we went to LegoLand Discovery after and I didn’t bring him to the last one, building fires. Catawba-Lynn, fired, roasted marshmallows, other children, and a puppy sounds like a disaster. But no yeah, definitely thinking of taking Catawba-Lynn and Sessrumnir to the zoo weekly!
Dog shows, with no puke! We went to the New Brunswick AKC show in Edison, NJ. Again, no dog, just watching, with our camping chairs and food and all of Catawba-Lynn’s Frozen ultimate craft containers, which she spread all over our sitting area and tinkered with. No puke – not a single bit of puke. We were on camera (AKC.TV). I got kudos from some professional handlers for clapping at appropriate times, like when the judges are having the dogs do down and backs. The handlers said “This is the AKC, this is recorded, this is exciting! People should act like it!” And you would not believe who I met! Fortune Cookie the Pekingese with breeder, owner, handler David Fitzpatrick; 2021 Breeder of the Year. Catawba-Lynn knew who it was. I congratulated Fitzpatrick on Wasabi and Fortune Cookie and he smiled and thanked us. (Wasabi won the 2021 Westminster). That was quite a treat!
Half A Human 